The Hour of Crooks

It is the Hour of Crooks. Crooks write confessionals. Crooks advise. Crooks are key-note speakers. Crooks live in big houses. Crooks are admired and forgiven. Crooks get the girl.

A few slaps on the hand and a couple of crooks go to jail, but they already had their fun, so what do they care? Better to live like a crook for ten years then a clock-punching, spam eating clod for fifty years. That’s why crooks don’t stop crooking and crook classes abound. Where do I sign up?

It’s like this. Once you taste good cheese, good wine, and experience Egyptian sheets, you can never be content with anything less. Sure, you put on a good face and say, ” I can do with or without, I’m adaptable, I can live in a tent and eat beans.” The truth is, although beans are palatable with hot sauce, the memory of exquisiteness overtakes rationality.

Like any addiction. Maybe not the first taste of good cheese, but the second or third, and you’re quarked out with it. You’re broke, and you’re grocery shopping, and there in front of you, two cheeses. One is the good cheese, one is the lousy cheese. You will choose the good cheese, hell or high water, and either go bankrupt, or steal, or cheat, or fuck your way to that bar of cheese. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?

I suggest you don’t taste the good cheese if you haven’t already. Instead, best to enjoy the shit cheese and make up for it by wallowing in your self-righteousness. ” My life is not about cheese” You’ll say, ” I have more important things to do than eat cheese.” Good for you. Eat that shit cheese and smile, sucker.

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Mission Statement


(A mission statement defines in a paragraph or so any entity’s reason for existence. It embodies its philosophies, goals, ambitions and mores. Any entity that attempts to operate without a mission statement runs the risk of wandering through the world without having the ability to verify that it is on its intended course.)

“ I intend to run the risk of wandering through the world without having the ability to verify that I am on my intended course.”