On my laurelcasey.com site question marks have appeared where photos used to tread. Do I really have to learn how to do something besides type? I simply want to type, and post a photo now and then, and I am staring down the black hole of a learning curve so deep as to let no light on the subject enter the sphere. And so, I am left with question marks.
They come bearing gifts, from the heart, and then abandon you. Take the gifts and don’t look back. The gifts were given unbeknownst to the giver, with a condition. The condition, unbeknownst to the giver, involved a reciprication. A pay back so pure as to be without reproach. “It’s only proper that I am rewarded for my generosity with such and such.” To deny a giver their due is to call their bluff, the bluff of pure intent and godly philanthropy. Don’t they understand that their craving for your approval was evident from the get-go, and you, refusing to fake them out, were well aware of their temporality? And they wonder why you didn’t take them seriously, in their teary eyed professions of love, their unselfish willingness to provide you with whatever they are able, no strings attached, until they are attached, being strung out, so to speak, in the attachment- the payback- so clear in their minds are the end result, that they cannot comprehend a disappointment, and in that disappointment, the truth of their motivation: Tit for Tat. They disappear. They do not want to be near you- you being a constant reminder of their failure to make the trade or the grade. This leaves them in a quandary- they must evaporate from your life so completely as to be an afterthought. They must disappear-and forget their transgression- the greed, the lust, the synchophatic, grasping, unpure generosity they bestowed on you. In your refusal, they’ve been found out. You will not hear from them again, unless it is a cryptic response to a vague How Are You communication. They will go on…until they find a receptical for their vapid affections. Affection based on a lie. The lie containing a dose of their self loathing and their subversive demands that you prove them wrong. Congratulations. You made it past another creep.