Bloody Mary Secrets

I never understood the “hair of the dog” concept. Why add insult to injury? Why delay the inevitable? Mythology suggests that drinking in the morning is a sure sign of alcoholism or terminal illness. Yet, stirring alcohol into a glass of tomato juice before noon, especially on Sunday, is considered wise. bloody.jpgWhy? Because the next day is Monday. Monday is a drag, so why not have a hangover during work hours and get paid for it? then again, why not ruin a weekend that is already a bust because we know it is going to end all too soon? These are questions that AA members of America consider inappropriate. Rationalization: The Eighth Deadly Sin. Civilized: The ninth deadly sin. I have conducted an experiment and would like to share the results. Drinking Bloody Mary’s before noon on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and/or Saturday does not ruin your life, especially if you don’t have one. The key is: horseradish. Lots of it. Celery salt. Hot sauce. Red Peppers. Celery. Soy sauce. Fresh squeezed tomatoes. Lemon slices. High quality vodka. Plastic glass. Take outside and sip under a palm tree. No palm tree? Go find one. Settle in. Get call from boss that you’re fired. Add extra horseradish. Apply suntan lotion. Allow house foreclosure. Do basic yoga stretches. Call 911 and report yourself missing. Throw cell phone in a fish tank. But what if, But what about, But how come, But they will, But it isn’t…………..oh, mantra’s  and then, the guilt. Adjust your schedule. Remove all alcohol from your beverages. It is just another ingredient no matter what they tell you and you don’t need it. What you need is freedom.  Write a note and color copy it. Note saying”I’m sorry” – renounce your God if He does not understand you. Take a few months off and remind yourself of what you have always wanted to do. Prepare to die penniless. Expect bliss.

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